बॉस: कहाँ गए थे?
कर्मचारी: बाल कटवाने...
बॉस: ऑफिस के काम के समय में..?
कर्मचारी: बाल बढ़े भी तो ऑफिस के समय में ही हैं।
बॉस: घर में रहते हो, तब भी तो बढ़ते हैं न तुम्हारे बाल?
कर्मचारी: टकला थोड़े ही ना किया है, जितने ऑफिस में बढ़े थे उतने ही कटवाए हैं।
Son: Dad I got punished in school today
Dad: Why dear?
..
Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me Saying..
..
..
" At the end of scale there is an Idiot"
.
..
..
..
I Just asked "which end"...?
Optimist: The glass is half full. :)
Pessimist: The glass is half empty. :(
Maa: Yaha jootha glass kisne rakha. >.<
Doctor : Your Liver is enlarged
Patient : Does that mean it has space for more whisky ?
Now That's called.. - Positive Thinking..
Ek baar santa hath dikha ke ek car ko
rokta hain.
car rukti hain lekin santa dekhta hain Car me koi nahi hain. Wo peeche
ki seat par baith jata hain aur car apne aap chalne lagti hain.
Aur jab mod aata hai to bahar se haath aata
hai car ko ghuma deta hai
Santa sochta hain k zarur isme
bhoot hain wo hi car chala raha hoga.
.
Fir car acchanak ek petrol pump pe rukti hain aur ek aadmi aake
driving seat par bethne lagta hain.
Santa ne use rokte hue kaha-
bhai ispe mat baitho. Yaha bhoot hain.
Wo aadmi bola - abey sale ye meri car hain.
Mai pichle 5 km se ise dhakka marke
leke aa
raha hu... >.<
Ek chor 1 crore rupies aur bahut gold chori karke bhag raha tha..
.
.
Ek gunge, bahre insan ke ghar ghus gaya..
Maal udhar rakh kar bola"Kal aake le jaoonga"
.
.
Dusre din gaya..
Maal vahan nahin tha Puchha to
gunga aise ishare karta
mano wo kuch nahin janta..
.
.
Chor apne ek aise dost ko le
aaya jo gungo ki bhasha janta tha..
.
Chor Bola:" isko puchh maal
kahan hai bata de
nahin to shoot kar dunga.."
.
.
Gunga darr gaya aur apni bhasha mein bola "Ghar ke pichhe jo tree hai
uske niche.."
Chor ko kuch samjah nahi aaya..
Usne Dost se puchha
"Kya bolta hai ??
.
.
Dost:" Bolta hai goli marde..
Main nahin bataunga.. ;) :D
Pappu Ke Ghar Billi Rehti Thhi,,, Pappu Billi Se Tang Aaker Use Kahi Chod Aaya.. Ghar Aaya To Billi Usse Pehle Pahunchi Hui Thi.. Pappu Billi Ko Dubara Kahi Door Chod Ke Aaya,.
Billi Phir Usse Pehle Ghar Pahunch Gayi..
...
,
PAppu Ko Bohut Gussa Aaya,,,
... . Abb Woh Billi Ko Bohut Hi Jyada Door Chodne
Gaya. '
'
Waha Se Usne Wife Ko Phone Kiya Aur Pucha. Pappu: "Billi Ghar Pahunch Gayi Ya Nahi ?"
?
Wife: "Haan Pahunch Gayi Hai"
.
Pappu Rote Hue: "Uss Se Bol Ke Mujhe Aaker
Le Jaye, Mein Rasta Bhul Gaya Hoon"...... :P :D
Son: What is the national bird of India?
Dad: Before 8pm its peacock, After 8pm its tandoori chicken.
Wife (after a fight)
...
Tell me those 3 magical words..
Husband: I love u
Wife : No not this
Husband : I like u
Wife : Again No
not this 3 words
Husband : I miss u
Wife : Getting more angry....No no
Husband - Galti meri thi :(
Wife :YES :D