I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiled the one who could brighten up your day, even if she couldn't brighten her own.
It's hard to answer the question "what's wrong" when nothings right.
'How do you know I'm mad?'.
Some times in stead of cutting an X on my wrist I make a cross so that the Lord can forgive me for destroying my body, and I also pray that the pain stops as the blood slowly drips onto my sheets.
You start life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been and wonder who you really are.
Those who say sunshine brings happiness have never danced in the rain.
Depression is such a strong emotion, its regret, fear, frustration, isolation, a choice, and sometimes even a form of protection.
I don't care that I don't care, but I do care maybe a little bit about not caring about not caring - but maybe I do feel sorry for all the nice people whose efforts are wasted on a waste case like me.
How many cuts could I count? How many could I place in time and context? I had to admit that I couldn't remember the occasion of almost any of them, their catalysts, whether epic or mundane, completely obscured by time. So many moments of supposedly unendurable pain, now utterly forgotten. u start to think, Maybe I don't need this anymore. Maybe I never did I was trying to get equilibrium from two extremes: either I was so upset that I had to cut myself to relieve it, or I was so numb that I had to cut myself to get back to being there.
The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.
I don't know if I'm getting better or just used to the pain.
Someday I'll fly away.